Founder: Stephen Hudson, LCSW
Broken is defined as “fractured or damaged; no longer in one piece; no longer in working order”.
I felt broken for a very long time. Since my childhood I was told my sexual orientation was broken. I internalized that message very early in my life, and I began to believe that I was damaged goods, and I needed to be fixed. Carrying this burden deeply affected my soul. I isolated during my adolescent years, wondering why God created me with this defect. I contemplated suicide constantly, and I made two attempts to end my life. I abused alcohol from age 18 and developed an addiction problem. I tried to escape through addictive substances and behaviors in order to cope with my feelings of abandonment from God, insecurity about my sexual orientation, and inadequacy feelings that I was not reaching God's potential.
What I realized later: God's potential for me had nothing to do with my sexual orientation.
I believed the lie from fundamentalist Christians that my homosexual orientation was something evil; "good" people do not have these unnatural sexual desires. I likened my homosexual orientation to a cross I was made to carry, just like the Apostle Paul’s thorn in the flesh. Because I believed I was broken, I allowed Christian leaders to subject me to harmful ex-gay ministry propaganda and programs. I put my life into the hands of this ex-gay movement, in hopes they could help to change my sexual orientation so I could be healed (not broken anymore) and become a heterosexual man with the desire to love a woman physically.
Today I know I was never broken. However, my soul became damaged through the process, not due to my homosexual orientation, but due to the ex-gay movement, fundamentalists’ interpretation of the Bible, and societal fears of what they did not understand. Today I can say “I am unbroken” and God has healed my broken spirit.